In the summer of 2021, I experienced what I now know as the darkest night of my soul. After 18 plus years of caring for my three children, I found myself as an empty nester. While I was excited for my children to experience new places and forge their own paths, nobody and nothing could prepare me for the day this happened. The grief and emptiness that followed were overwhelming.
Despite being surrounded by supportive friends and family, having a successful career as a nurse practitioner, a beautiful home, and good health, I felt incredibly alone, with no sense of purpose.
It is said that the greatest journey we can take is the journey within. I had been on a spiritual quest for over 40 years, but this time, I couldn’t pull myself out of the depths of despair. I also realized that the pain and loneliness I felt were guiding me towards my divine destiny.
During this time, I received a calling from Ayahuasca, despite knowing very little about plant medicine and psychedelics. There are certain journeys in life that we must take alone, and sitting with mother Ayahuasca was one of them. It was a moment that marked the beginning of my true adventure.
As a medical professional, finding a retreat that was authentic, reputable, and safe was of utmost importance to me. After doing my due diligence on the Internet, I discovered Resonance, through Behold, which offered everything I was looking for. It was a sacred and transformative place to begin my journey, with thorough screenings for physical, psychological, and spiritual wellness. The retreat center provided private bedrooms and spaces for reflection and integration. The expertise and reputation of the facility far exceeded my expectations. From the moment I arrived, I felt an energetic and spiritual alignment. Resonance Retreat Center offered a safe and experienced shamanistic ceremonial circle, allowing for introspective work and an open awareness of higher truths.
I knew that it was through Ayahuasca that I would not only discover my life’s purpose, but also my soul’s purpose. I wanted to align myself with my higher good, my heart, and live the life I was truly meant to live, with a sense of peace, wholeness, and purpose. I sought to break away from the illusions of my ego and receive authentic alignment, awareness, clarity, and peace.
Ayahuasca facilitated a journey into the deepest truth within me, teaching me how to live with a quiet mind and an open heart. The ceremonies allowed for the release of blockages and introspective self-work, resulting in an open awareness of higher truths. Ayahuasca helped me tap into my inner truth.
Throughout the retreat, I never once felt emotionally, spiritually, or physically unsafe or unsupported. I am forever grateful to Danny, Nick, Sarah, and Pablo for their expertise and for creating a loving, supportive, safe, and secure environment. I had no worries while undergoing the medicine. The small, intimate group became like family, forming lifelong bonds.
I set clear intentions but released all expectations, which was easy for me since I had no idea what to expect. Mother Ayahuasca taught me countless lessons, the biggest one being the importance of letting go of things that no longer serve me, and that I am loved unconditionally.
The years following my ayahuasca experience have been incredibly transformational. I continue to deepen my faith and spiritual ascension on a daily basis, embracing my spiritual awakening. Even in the chaos of the world, I can tap back into my ayahuasca experience and the unconditional love and support it showed me. I have come to realize that nothing external can truly satisfy me, fill me, or give me purpose. It is from within that I have found my connection to something greater.
I understand that this is a lifelong journey, and I approach it now with open arms, surrendering to the childlike wonder of what is in store for me next. I have discovered that I am my own guru, my own guide. I am the light and I see the world through the eyes of my heart.
Now having the realization that true satisfaction, fulfillment, and purpose come from within. It’s a lesson that resonates deeply and reminds us of the importance of self-acceptance and self-love. My journey shows that we have the power to be our own guides and find light and wisdom within ourselves.
With this newfound understanding, I have had the privilege of returning to Resonance to serve others. By helping others alleviate their fears and anxieties and providing them with the safe space and support they need to embark on their own path toward self-discovery.
I am still a work in progress and will continue to be until the day I take my last breath.
Life is a continuous journey of growth and self-discovery. We are all works in progress, and there is always more to learn, explore, and embrace.
To anyone who reads this entry, may your journey be filled with peace, joy, and an ever-deepening connection to your inner truth.